Dear Blarg Followers:

I don't know how often I'll be posting here anymore.

If you'd like to read my ramblings or be supportive (++++!!!), please follow my new blog centered around my photography, creative process, behind-the-scenes action, and industry miscellaneous.

http://lexishapirophoto.blogspot.com

Hugs and Kisses.

Somebody's getting better...!

Baby steps towards where I want to be.

This is my Shakira inspired She Wolf shoot.

The airbrushing and compositing took me 7+ hours,

not including the 4+ hours of shoot time.

It was SO, SO worth every second.

Welcome to my portfolio.

The new album leak

in combination with other factors

(stress from finals, etc.)

have lead this week's playlist to be as follows:

Thanks for keeping me sane, guys.

Keep on doing what you're doing.

I listen to this album incessantly in the Fall/Winter,

and so should you.

Best accompanied by a cup of hot tea

and a few candles burning in the background.

Bring it on, Autumn.

Oh, how I've missed you so!

Photography has entirely consumed me.

I am living, eating, breathing it.

I was told that when I hit this point, I would produce good work.

I have seen vast improvements in the quality of my photographs since I made the conscious decision to lower my defenses to its advances.

I am going to continue learning, progressing, growing,

as I still have so very much of that to do.

Here is some of my recent work:

What's the answer to 99 out of 100 questions?

I'm not one for admitting vulnerability, especially in the public sphere... but, here goes nothin'.

I'm scared. Actually, "scared" really doesn't do this state of mind justice. I don't know if there really is a word in existence to suit this. For months, I've been exhausted, anxious, petrified, and listless, all rolled into one fun little package. There is this big, ominous cloud floating over my head, and I'm just staring at it... knowing that quite soon it'll burst and pour down on me.

Money. That's what this all boils down to. Why is it EVERYTHING? As altruistic as one may be, as much as one says it's not of importance... it IS... there's absolutely no denying that fact.

Let's take a look at my position, here.
TRUTH: I've spent the past four years of my life working only a few days a week and filling in the gaps with funding from my student loans, spending a great deal of my time focusing on school. I live at home with my parents, not paying rent or utilities. They pay my car insurance bill. They pay my phone bill. I'm on my father's health insurance plan, which he pays. If I'm going to keep my grades up and succeed scholastically, this is how things have to be. I feel utterly worthless.

What am I going to do two years (or less) from now when the storm comes? How can I possibly survive? How can I even hope to make enough money when it's time to pay for all of these things PLUS a massive student loan payment? So, here I am, just staring at all of this looming over me... terrified. I find no comfort in cliches that I'll "make it because everybody does." Shenanigans. I'm calling shenanigans on that one.

I feel very stuck and frightened, as if I'm living my life balled up in a corner waiting for the fatal blow to be delivered. The world owes me nothing. No money is going to fall from the sky into my lap simply because I'm a good person or I "try my best."

Ahhhhhh....fuck.

Listened to this song probably about 50 times over the course of the past week.
Also, Lapse and Gift of Paralysis have gotten ample plays.

I will forever appreciate this band and album.