Destination: HapVal

Sometimes, I just need a temporary escape from the "real world,"
and that is why God created the Happy Valley.

No blogs for a week-ish.
Blogs mean contemplation.
Contemplation means thinking.
I want no thoughts for the next week...
...just impulses, feelings, energies...
...just friends, bonding, lack of negativity...
...just booze, dancing, and ludicrousness...
...just me and the Happy Valley, back on good terms.

Though, I don't really have much to be "escaping" from on this occasion. Last visit, I had plenty that needed evaded and matters haunting and plaguing my brain.

Presently, life is being very kind to me.
To complain would reflect ingratitude.
I am finally at peace and have found peace.

I am currently in the midst of one of my necessary hermitages. When things get too crazy, I withdraw. If I feel a loss of control, sanity, or something of importance is imminent, I retreat to the sanctuary of my basement, where I spend my time creating. I photoshop, write, paint, draw, etc. etc. etc. I turn to Mr. Dylan, Mr.(s) Lennon and McCartney, Mr.(s) Floyd, and many other gurus for advice. ["How do I level this mess out, dear sirs?"] With hot tea, Chimes of Freedom, and paintbrush in hand, I somehow inevitably reach my "moment of clarity." After feeling relatively certain that I can maintain, I re-emerge from the ashes as the phoenix, and head back into the "outside world."

This visit to the HapVal will be that foray. However, I am transitioning into almost direct opposition... from reclusiveness to overwhelming insanity and vastly social situations. Hopefully I won't feel/behave awkwardly. Nobody likes a wallflower.

I do believe I want to learn how to play the guitar. I have fumbled with the instrument before, and had little to no success. I always gave up shortly after the attempts began out of frustration.
I used to write songs, but never with instrumental accompaniment, as my piano key-striking days were numbered, and I lacked the ability to play another instrument. [Unless you count the recorder, which we were forced into in the fourth grade. I could play a mean "This is My Country."] However, I should like to begin writing songs again. Never for playing in public. Personal posterity. Secretive catharsis. I can't even remember any of the ones previously written. New beginnings. I like those. Individual renaissance.

This blog has worn out its welcome.
I have gone from waxing philosophic to rambling.
Goodnight.

Happy Halloween to all. Frivolous post.

I do not know if I shall be dressing up at all for this All Hallow's Eve.
If I do, it will be a costume that I have worn previously, as the holiday seems to have lost its magic a bit this year, and apathy set in when contemplating costume choice.

I decided to peruse the Interweb and see if I would suddenly become inspired in some way as to something last-minute I could throw together if need be, and I found a couple really awesome costumes that I figured I'd share....

Rubik's Cube

iPod Commercial

Borat... very nice!

Ali G... respect.

Humpty Dumpty

This person actually dressed up as a table.

Big Apple.

Tonight was Trevor's going-away gathering at Young's.
I had no idea that he was leaving until this morning.
I had asked Paul if he wanted to get a six-pack and catch up tonight, when he informed me that tonight was one of Trevor's last nights in Pittsburgh before he departs for New York City on Saturday, and that I should come and say goodbye. For everyone else, it was "goodbye," but for myself, it was "see you later."

This is the perfect opportunity for me to announce to the general public my own scheduled relocation to NYC. Fear not, 'tis not nearly as soon as Trevor's. However, in a little over a year, once I am done getting my degree [FINALLY], I will be moving to New York [and reuniting with Trevor ASAP!].

Why, you ask?
For the very same reasons that Trevor, a filmmaker, is doing so.

(1) If you are an artist, especially a photographer or filmmaker, you need to be somewhere like New York City to succeed or at least have a fighting chance at success. I have had innumerable offers to cover various shows and events and to do some work for various PR firms (including Magnum PR)...but they are all located in NYC. Every new invitation in my inbox absolutely kills me to decline.
(2) Pittsburgh is an incredibly small city. I'm a big city person, and in love with New York City. I've been there several times, and on each occasion have not wanted to leave. Paul and I played a little bit of Six Degrees of Separation, and it was frightening that he knew some of the people I was speaking of. Trust me when I say that in Pittsburgh, no one is "new." Every "new person" that you meet knows someone that you know, or is a friend of a friend of a friend. Either way, you don't need six degrees to make the connection; it normally takes two to three. I can't stand it anymore. Which leads to...
(3) I would rather be a little fish in a big pond than a big fish in a little pond. And, of course, preferable over both is being a big fish in a big pond. Unless you are Sidney Crosby, your success in Pittsburgh has a very defined ceiling that you cannot extend beyond. Give me anonynimity. Give me the ability to blend in. Allow me to meet individuals who are truly new and to start anew with the cleanest of slates and thousands upon thousands of opportunities for first impressions. Then, grant me success. Grant me familiarity. Make the sky the limit.

This time cannot pass fast enough. I count the months as if they are days.
I'm going to cram as many credits as I can manage without having a nervous breakdown into each quarter to expedite the process. Of course, I will miss my family. And, I will miss my friends. The true blue will stay a very valued, though farther-away part of my life. But, this is so very worth it and what will lead to my ultimate happiness.

So, enjoy my company, Pittsburgh.
You have about a year to do so.
Ready, set, go...

Fall.

Fall is finally upon us.
The air has that crispness to it, a slight bite of chill in the breeze.
The deer are playing in the roads.
[I have almost hit 3 of them with my car.
One was a buck with enormous antlers.]
The leaves are the most vibrant hues of gold, ochre, and brick red,
signifying that they are soon to plummet from the branches to the earth below.
The scent of burning leaves wafts through the air.
This scent is one of my favorite scents.
The city is damp with the fall rains,
but lacking the humidity of Summer.
Therefore, it is pleasurable and I do not mind it at all.
Long sleeves, hot tea, and my porch swing shall dominate for the next week.
Before my hibernation begins, I want to soak up the brevity of this season.
[Pittsburgh has almost no Fall.
We segue straight from Summer to Winter with possibly a week of fall inbetween.]
Contemplation.
The death of the matters of the Summer and Spring.
As the leaves tumble down, the negativity and pain of this year past follows suit,
joining them in the pile at the tree's base.
For the first time, I do believe Winter will not feel quite so cold.
This Winter will signify starting anew.
As the snows fall and blanket the ground, they will whiten my canvas,
blank, and ready for new works to be created upon it.
I am a work in progress.

But for now, the Fall is lovely.
J'adore l'automne.

Raison D'etre

I posed this question via Myspace bulletin:

What is YOUR raison d'etre......your reason for waking up in the morning......what do you live for? What keeps you going through everything?



At some point in the next couple days, I'll post a blog with the answers I receive,
[anonymously, of course] and I'll give you MY raison d'etre.

This concept has been of personal intrigue for a while.
After my break-up this past Spring, I really had to sit down, re-evaluate, and reprioritize.
I began to question when and why I had allowed my reason for living to become dependent upon something to temporal and unhealthy.
Ever since I rediscovered my purpose and my true raison d'etre, I've been a happier person.
With my rejuvenated modus operandi [not in the criminal sense], I've been more focused, determined, successful, generous, and all-around pleasant.

I am hoping that hearing what others live for will be all the more inspiring and motivating.

"All in all, you're just another brick in the wall..."

I wonder...

How many boundaries are truly in place?
VERSUS
How many boundaries are made manifest by our belief in their existence?

We always think that we're too much or not enough of something.
Or, as said in Zeitgeist [which is incredible and everyone should view at least once], we, as humans, are divided up in so many different ways: gender, race, religion, age, sexual preference, socioeconomic "class," style/"label," intellect, etc etc etc.
We waste so much time creating the very boundaries we are attempting to break through by way of doubt, intolerance, and conformity.

Allow me to provide just a few examples...
[Some touch close to home. Others might touch close to yours.]

1) "I'm not good enough to succeed in this."
2) "She's not intelligent enough for me to waste my time getting to know her."
3) "I'm strongly Christian and he's strongly Jewish...it'll never work."
4) "I don't have enough money to move there, even though I'd really like to."
5) "That promotion is going to go to her instead of me. She has an 'in' with our boss. I won't even bother applying to fill the opening."
6) "I'm not good-looking enough for someone like her."
7) "We're attracted to one another...but the age difference is just too large."

My rebuttals?

1) The only reason you are not succeeding is because you are truly afraid of success, not failure.
2) So, you would pass up on the company of someone who could be a very kind, loving person?
3) Why can't you teach one another, agree to disagree, and just love the other for who they are?
4) If it is what you really want...suffer for it. Be flat broke. Start from the ground up.
5) People often get what they deserve. There is no harm in trying. No race was ever won by sitting it out.
6) Not only are you placing doubt upon your physical appearance, but you're also placing so much doubt in your character and in HER character by automatically assuming she could never love someone for who they are on the inside.
7) Aaliyah once said, "Age ain't nothin' but a number." While I don't often quote hip-hop artists for their wisdom, in this case, it is appros pos. People often don't correspond to their chronological age. It should not be something of vast importance if you clique. [Exception: pedophilia.]



I live in that fairy tale of my own making, and I am quite content.
It's the principle of the 'power of positive thinking.'


"Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to."
FUCK common sense, say I.
"Common sense" is often a moniker that doubt disguises itself under.
It's easier to pass something off as common sense rather than exit one's comfort zone, or put oneself out there in a way that could result in rejection or hurt.


How different would your life be without self-imposed boundaries?
What would life be like if you mentally dissolved all boundaries and held the honest-to-god belief that anything is possible?

"And we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing..."

Today was spent at Mingo Creek with Steven.

On the drive,

there was countryside.

and horses.

and ponds with hundred of geese.

and Paul McCartney.

and not a care in the world.

Upon arrival,

there was laying in sunshine.

and splashing in creeks.

and climbing of trees.

and herb.

and taking of photographs.

and not a care in the world.

And now, tonight,

there is vanilla caramel tea.

and candles.

and Bob Dylan.

and cool breeze.

and not a care in the world.

I do believe I have found the recipe for perfection in its simplest form.

Unplug.

Escapism.

Tomorrow, myself and Steven shall be turning our phones off and spending the day in Mingo Creek Park in Washington, PA:

I am dire need of sunshine. and creek water. and grass.

Photographs aplenty shall be taken.

Digital and film.

Digital shall be viewable upon return.

One whole day of no phone, no computer, no television.

Just escape.

Do that.

That's my challenge for today.

Unplug for one day.

Skies like this,
with almost 360 degrees of horizon line/mountains in the background,
make you want your 2 hour-long drive to never end,
and make you feel very "at peace" with your life
and circumstances.